John, this is such a real post. I can feel the weight of what you’re going through, and I respect the hell out of you for being this honest. It’s not easy to question everything you were raised on and admit that what you’re doing now isn’t hitting the way you thought it would. That takes guts. We're all putting a lot of pressure on ourselves to have it all figured out, but maybe we all have to go try stuff and see what sticks.
Excellent piece John. I really relate to much of your journey, though I eventually landed on Islam as the framework for what I felt was an inherent call for my embodied “spirituality”. I think you rightly point out that lack of community may be the sticking point as to why something still doesn’t feel right - alongside that feeling of just following your whims. This can be a challenge for me too. If it’s worth anything, even if you embrace Christianity again, or any other path; there will still be the work of finding or maybe moulding an expression of it which is unique to you. Having experienced other traditions I think you’re in a good position to intuit what resonates at a heart level. Most of all though, give yourself some grace. Some things we‘ll only truly know at the end of the journey— until then, keep your intentions pure (as they seem to be) and keep up the effort.
“The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance.” — Oswald Chambers
Really liked how this made me think. I’ve definitely used that turn of phrase and still feel pretty comfortable with it. That said, I thoroughly enjoyed both the personal challenge and reading about your experience. Outstanding personal writing.
John, there is a lot of potential that you feel with your senses but can’t quite put a finger on. It — this potential — is what worth pursuing. Not religion of any sort.
Religions are the threads on this fractal that curl down, and inward, because they all end up deciding to not seek anymore but to stay put. That is why you left, to seek.
I’m no guru or Sam Harris. But replacing one master book with another is not going to give any answers.
The acceptance that answers are out there is what’s most joyful, I think.
Sprouting fractal out and away from the previous cycle.
It came out so well! Bravo. I look forward to future installments about your relationship with religion. This was worth all the iterations and effort. You actually inspired me to dig more into this question with others and inside myself.
Great job expanding on the details here John! And your takeaway re: vibes and personal consumption still hits with an oomph.
fyi one thing I learned recently is that numerologists thought 2024 would be a year of a lot more spiritual/religious seeking, and it did turn out that way (at least in terms of volume of conversation on platforms like Twitter).
John, this is such a real post. I can feel the weight of what you’re going through, and I respect the hell out of you for being this honest. It’s not easy to question everything you were raised on and admit that what you’re doing now isn’t hitting the way you thought it would. That takes guts. We're all putting a lot of pressure on ourselves to have it all figured out, but maybe we all have to go try stuff and see what sticks.
Excellent piece John. I really relate to much of your journey, though I eventually landed on Islam as the framework for what I felt was an inherent call for my embodied “spirituality”. I think you rightly point out that lack of community may be the sticking point as to why something still doesn’t feel right - alongside that feeling of just following your whims. This can be a challenge for me too. If it’s worth anything, even if you embrace Christianity again, or any other path; there will still be the work of finding or maybe moulding an expression of it which is unique to you. Having experienced other traditions I think you’re in a good position to intuit what resonates at a heart level. Most of all though, give yourself some grace. Some things we‘ll only truly know at the end of the journey— until then, keep your intentions pure (as they seem to be) and keep up the effort.
I appreciate the personal reflection, sense of quest, and spiky title. Nice piece, John.
God 👏 damn it 👏 John 👏
“The author who benefits you most is not the one who tells you something you did not know before, but the one who gives expression to the truth that has been dumbly struggling in you for utterance.” — Oswald Chambers
Really liked how this made me think. I’ve definitely used that turn of phrase and still feel pretty comfortable with it. That said, I thoroughly enjoyed both the personal challenge and reading about your experience. Outstanding personal writing.
John, there is a lot of potential that you feel with your senses but can’t quite put a finger on. It — this potential — is what worth pursuing. Not religion of any sort.
Religions are the threads on this fractal that curl down, and inward, because they all end up deciding to not seek anymore but to stay put. That is why you left, to seek.
I’m no guru or Sam Harris. But replacing one master book with another is not going to give any answers.
The acceptance that answers are out there is what’s most joyful, I think.
Sprouting fractal out and away from the previous cycle.
🌌
It came out so well! Bravo. I look forward to future installments about your relationship with religion. This was worth all the iterations and effort. You actually inspired me to dig more into this question with others and inside myself.
Great job expanding on the details here John! And your takeaway re: vibes and personal consumption still hits with an oomph.
fyi one thing I learned recently is that numerologists thought 2024 would be a year of a lot more spiritual/religious seeking, and it did turn out that way (at least in terms of volume of conversation on platforms like Twitter).